false alarm. still invincible.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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