If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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