i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
