We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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