let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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