new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
