I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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