ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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