I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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