are you still at the devil's house?
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
