I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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