My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
