Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
