when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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