4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
