I need help removing her.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
