with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
