Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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