the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
