So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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