Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
