If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
