oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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