I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
