So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
