Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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