your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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