As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize