Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
