think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
