So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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