wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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