Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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