Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize