Duck Duck Cougar?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
