Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
