Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So vagazzling was a success
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