It's like God shit irony all over that family
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize