Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize