But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
