Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
