Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
