You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
