i barfeds in our rink
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
