Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
