I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Couch. On fire.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
