haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
