Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
