I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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