You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize