After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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