you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
