Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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