you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
