He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
