as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
