the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she peed on how many people?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
