The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
