I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
BRING THE BAGELS
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
