That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
