My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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