Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
