Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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