I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize