My hair reeks of homosexuality.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
