apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
