i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
