THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
