I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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